The Hotel Room Gourmet

Presented at LayerOne 2017, May 28, 2017, 11 a.m. (60 minutes)

Those who know Deviant or Tarah are aware that they love fine food and top-shelf drinks. When visiting homes of others, or when guests are gracious enough to come to our home, it’s a pleasure to demonstrate just how easily one can prepare gourmet-grade feasts on a budget.

But what if you’re not in your house, or the abode of an accommodating friend with a nice kitchen? Many of us spend much of our work life on the road, struggling to eat healthy and well while staying within budget. Well, forget the hotel lobby restaurant. Don’t Uber to the nearest Morton’s. Hell, don’t even put on your pants.

In this talk we will snub our noses at room service and not take our our credit card save for one quick visit to a local grocery store. The Hotel Room Gourmet will be a full and complete breakdown of a dizzying array of high-class food that we often make right in our hotel rooms (no suite or kitchenette needed!) which is healthier, tastier, and cheaper than nearly all other offerings available. Stick it to the man (and make your expense report happy) as you start dining on deviled eggs, savory vegetables, and the thickest, juiciest rare steaks imaginable.

Those who are present will not only learn but be afforded the opportunity to taste some of these exact creations! Those who are vegan, forswear alcohol, or prefer their meat well-done are advised to leave…as we will be holding knives.


  • Deviant Ollam
    Deviant Ollam (@deviantollam) is a gregarious gormandizer of foods from the four corners of the earth and a bibulous boozer of the highest order. If you’ve ever been in a hotel whose hallways have smelled curiously of bacon or seen a wild-eyed bearded man applying a blowtorch to ribeye steaks in a parking lot, chances are that was his doing. Deviant drinks peaty scotch — Lagavulin, Ardbeg, Bowmore, and Laphroaig — and bourbon with bite — Basil Hayden’s, Blanton’s, Booker’s, Barterhouse, and even some that don’t start with the letter B. Give him twenty minutes, a hot enough cast iron, and sufficient butter… and he can even make steaks from Aldi passable.
  • Tarah Wheeler / Pinup as Pinup
    Pinup (@tarah) has several extremely bad habits, including dark chocolate, dangerous men, and running incident response like a tinpot Napoleon. She enjoys long walks in your binaries, sunsets over popped shells, and convincing the receptionist that she’s the new project manager who just forgot her badge.


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