The year is 2016, dumped mailboxes are key presidential debate topics, ransomware runs rampant in corporate environments, toasters control large swathes of the internet and many alarming red lines on CSO powerpoint presentations are going up and to the right. In response, the $81 billion dollar cyber security industry is doubling down on blinky-lighted cyber divining rods, tarot card sharing platforms and neural network driven pcap ouija boards. This talk will walk through some of the failed ideas we've seen and implemented in the last decade at Google while defending our environment, outline the alternative strategies that have genuinely worked, and preview some of the key technologies we're betting on to protect our infrastructure in the coming years.