Presented at Kiwicon 8: It's always 1989 in Computer Security (2014)
Dec. 11, 2014, 9 a.m.
Hackers just wanna have fun; Metlstorm will (not) do a Cyndi Lauper impersonation to welcome you all.
Professional unix jerk metlstorm spends most of his time dreaming up increasingly implausible rube-goldbergian unix tomfoolery to meet his Insomnia Security KPIs of a) being a jerk to unix admins b) not getting busted and c) doing so on other people's srs bidnis production unix systems without breaking them. While clearly not contributing much to society as a whole, this process may at least elict a chortle from unix neophytes, and a grumbled "SVR3 did that in '86, dickface" from the grizzly veterans.