Patent law is a subject of general loathing among hackers and those in the open source movement. While a few grudgingly agree that some things might be worthy of patents, the idea of patenting software seems to offend core values of our community. Despite that fury, it is difficult to pin down exactly what a software patent is. To what degree is a patent directed to software instead of a new and useful machine? How can you separate out those two concepts? This talk aims to present the core problems of software patents in a way that is accessible to hackers and other technologists and, in particular, will address the Alice Corp. decision by the Supreme Court in June. This talk is an academic discussion of patent law and should not be construed as legal advice.