**Alex Ivanov (FakeRussian)** developed an interest in mischief in gaming into a career as a hacker and "information security professional" with multiple absolutely-legitimate degrees and certifications that were completely necessary for career advancement. As a student and participant in the cultural zeitgeist of hacking, they take pleasure in toasting and roasting media portrayals from the accurate to the laughable. Part of making infosec click with the current generation is highlighting real-world relevance to the systems they use every day: tampering is never proprietary.