At Duo, we see billions of authentication and access events each year from tens of thousands of customers across diverse user and device populations. "BIG DATA", or whatever the cool kids are calling it these days. We'd like to share some of that data with you, since tiny hard-to-read graphs and pie charts make for super compelling presentations. Spoiler alert: Everything is broken and vulnerable. But we'll keep our glasses half full and opine on how we, as an industry and practitioners, can and should be doing better. The future of security is bright...but it's still five years of breach headlines away.