What is "crimeware"? Crimeware is software designed exclusively to commit crime. Usually (but not always), crimeware is written using very poor "best practices", and yet, is typically highly effective against its intended targets (despite the efforts of "information security professionals"). Why? Because most "Information security professionals" are not tasked with preventing the types of crime that most crimeware is designed to commit. Most crimeware is designed to commit theft (usually of money), and most theft is not done by exotic criminals with fancy gadgets and well funded backers or look like anything out an Oceans 11 scene. Most crime is done by desperate and or opportunistic people in order to acquire wealth as fast as possible. Which is why it usually is done with a crow bar and a ski mask rather than some lockpicks, a proxmark, or a laptop. Within this nexus between the reality of crime and the ill compared seductiveness of "espionage" is where our story "and this presentation" begins