Increasingly, it appears that infosec professionals are being abducted by aliens and replaced with Markov chain bots -- programs that simply string together stock phrases. Consider that person on the other end of the long conference call, trying to justify another layer of anti-virus, because "defense in depth". How do we know it's an actual person? They haven't said anything original in the 30 minutes they've been talking. Indeed, where do these clichés even come from? Who was the first to apply "defense in depth" to infosec in the first place? What does it even mean? This iconoclastic talk explores these clichés, not debating whether they are right or wrong, but how they've lost all meaning. The goal is to prove we are humans, able to discuss a concept without resorting to these clichés.