Did you ever sit around in your trigonometry class in high school wondering why you were learning anything about sinewaves or why they were even useful enough to warrant learning to begin with? Math is actually /pretty goddamn cool/. It may be irritating to solve for Y in all those formulas consisting of variable-salad, but solving for Y can be helpful in the world of binary obfuscation. This talk will attempt to teach a few techniques that will allow for the application of arbitrary mathematical formulas (such as sinewaves) to create unique, polymorphic sequences of assembly code. The weakness, strengths, pitfalls of assembly intricacies and potential implementations of such obfuscation techniques will also be covered.