You will be hacked: it’s not if, it’s when. And when it happens, it will cost your company time, money, and reputation. This isn’t just a hack of your data, it’s an intrusion into the minds of your customers, your leadership, and your stakeholders. Despite in-your-face events we see in everyday media, organizations still seem surprised by a cyber event–and haven’t planned to holistically mitigate both a damaging security and reputation incident. Communication planning has to be inseparable from incident response, or the breach may become a breach of trust. In this talk, we equip attendees with useful tools that allow them to build their own crisis cyber response plans. Using a case study to roadmap a comprehensive playbook, we highlight ways to minimize future damage and expedite response efforts when every second matters. Companies can’t treat cybersecurity and communications as an after-thought if they want to keep their money, our data, and their reputation–in this talk, we help bridge corporate propaganda machines to technical keyboard monkeys, all to enable a better-prepared capitalistic society.