I spent nearly 20 years as a hacker, pen tester, and techie. By the end, I lead a large team of amazing hackers, been to management training and thought I could speak the vernacular of "C-Level". Then I got into management consulting, first at a Big-4 type firm, then a small boutique firm. What I've learned this past 2 years shocked me. I learned that the disconnect that we all perceive isn't just a language barrier - its something far deeper. A few former techie CISO's aside, hackers are not the same species as CxO's - we think, process information, and communicate entirely differently. This talk will focus on hacking the boardroom. It will present tools and techniques for the average hacker and technologist to speak CxO, it will arm the hacker with knowledge of KPI's, MVGO's and project economics - so they may pull off the greatest hack of all - getting their ideas effectively expressed to management, and getting things fixed.