This talk is a list topics we should all be bored with, tired of, or pissed at. Things that we all should have abandoned long ago, but somehow cling to like a false God. Topics will cover a number of things broadly recognized by the security industry as acceptable, including, acronyms, buzz words, and everyone’s favorite target… Apple. Think you know what an APT is? Ever followed a system hardening guide? Talk to a different vendor every day for more than a free lunch? Think your Apple device is the most secure platform on the planet? Come listen to the FACTS about the security industry that no one wants to admit to, with some style and finesse sprinkled in. If you work in the security industry this talk is a must see to cut through all the bull out there and get to the truth. If you can somehow leave without being offended then please find me at the bar, because we need to be friends.