Some data is too sensitive or volatile to store on systems you own. What if we could store it somewhere else without compromising the security or availability of the data, while leveraging intended functionality to do so? This presentation will cover the methodology and tools required to create a distributed file store built on top of a JavaScript botnet. This type of data storage offers redundancy, encryption, and plausible deniability, but still allows you to store a virtually unlimited amount of data in any type of file. They can seize your server - but the data's not there!