A lot is expected of software developers these days; they are expected to be experts in everything despite very little training. Throw in the IT security team (often with little-to-no knowledge of how to build software) telling developers what to do and how to do it, and the situation is further strained. This silo-filled, tension-laced situation, coupled with short deadlines and mounting pressure from management, often leads to stress, anxiety and less-than-ideal reactions from developers and security people alike. This talk will explain how people's personal insecurities can be brought out by leadership decisions in the way we manage our application security programs, and how this can lead to real-life vulnerabilities in software and other IT products. This is not a soft talk about "feelings", this is a talk about creating programs, governance and policies that ensure security throughout the entire SDLC. No more laying blame and pointing fingers, it's time to put our egos aside and focus on building high-quality software that is secure. The cause and effect of insecurities and other behavioural influencers, as well as several detailed and specific solutions will be presented that can be implemented at your own place of work, immediately. No more ambiguity or uncertainty from now on, only crystal clear expectations.